I see our neighbor with his shovel every weekend. Seriously, how many holes you got to dig?

Dear Help Desk:

My co-worker listens to country music. The cafeteria here specializes in deep-fried rubber tires. Also, the PC we collect the sleep data on sometimes goes to a blue screen and stays there (since last Thursday). My boss says we should be thankful we’re digital.

Oh, the reason for my note: Can you recommend a safe alternative to the country music station? Lives are at stake.

Thanks for all your work.

PS:
How long does it take for blood to dry in a keyboard? If I am quick enough, can I just pour it out? Will an office waste basket hold it all?

My day has not been filled with naked zombies covered in fairy dust.

I’m just doing my own thing over here.

LEVI JOHNSTON IS BROKE: Bristol Palin’s baby-daddy, Levi Johnston, is now penniless and living in his mother’s Alaska home, a source told Us Weekly.

It could be worse. He could be living in Bristol’s mother’s home.

“Levi made more than $1 million and squandered it on guns, boats and four-wheelers,” the source says of Playgirl’s winter 2010 cover model, 22.

This doesn’t really surprise anyone, does it?

The cash apparently didn’t go to Palin, 21, for their 3-year-old, Tripp. “Levi hasn’t paid child support in nearly two years,” said another insider. “And he has little contact with Tripp.”

So, of course, the onetime mayoral hopeful (HAHAHA) is expecting a daughter with girlfriend Sunny Oglesby. They told Inside Edition they plan to name her Breeze Beretta, after the gun.

Seriously — who could make that up? Quentin Tarantino wouldn’t even try that.

Said the first source, in what may likely be the greatest understatement in human history “Levi is confused about his life.”

You think?

Levi Johnston’s former rep Tank Jones —with whom he recently parted ways — counters that Levi is doing great.

“I wanted to work on other projects. This was a mutual decision,” Jones tells Us of his decision to cease working with the Alaska native. “I would think he would want to do some different things too. I would never leave him at a low point.”

That’s right. The guy who wants to name his daughter after a gun had a publicist named “Tank.”